Mundane Musings - On Keeping Promises and Letting Go of Perfection
There is no more perfect time than imperfect timing.
I am more apt to do something if I do not think about it.
If I do not allow myself to romanticize and write out the perfect script, the perfect time, the perfect items, the perfect way.
I am a perpetual planner and a closeted perfectionist. I will sit and plan and daydream and consequently talk myself out of doing something because I simply will not be able to do it all or do it perfectly or succeed in creating my vision in one go. I will write everything out in detail and then avoid starting the tasks needed because it will not be perfect.
This is my crux. Determining how to achieve my goals while allowing leniency in my vision.
I have been putting off walking Jojo all week. Despite her needing it. Despite me needing it. I’ve been putting it off. It’s been too early or too late or too hot or some other excuse. It hasn’t fit the script of my perfect day. So instead, I’ve sat and watched TV. I’ve played in the yard. I’ve done the dishes. I’ve done everything but go on a walk.
Yesterday, the thought popped into my head, “I should go on a walk.” Instead of giving myself time to think I grabbed her harness and my shoes, and we went on a walk.
Was it too hot? Yes. Not hot enough to end the walk but slightly uncomfortable for both of us. Did we walk the entire length of the trail? No. Because it was too hot, we walked half the length and took many breaks in the shade to sniff and rest. Did we both enjoy our time? Absolutely, it was a wonderful walk.
Yesterday was a great lesson and a great example of my ability to adapt and adjust despite the conditions not being perfect.
See for the last several years I’ve held myself back because of this internal perfectionism. I’ve avoided trying new things or starting projects because of the fear of not being perfect or not doing it perfect. The fear of failure.
So, I’m taking this lesson with me. If I think I should do something instead of reaching for a notebook I will simply get up and do it. If I have the time and space to do something I will not waste time scheduling it in I will simply, do it.
Planning and preparing is a valid skill that many of us take too far.
Afterall, planning and preparing only goes so far if there is not action to back up said plans. This is a rather large “Aha!” moment for me that I wanted to share, because moments like this lead to change. They lead to growth.
Action can be uncomfortable and scary and messy but the same can be said for stalling and avoiding action at all.
Until next time.
xo,
Roo