I’m a bit late for my re-cap but I still wanted to get it out there. This month was challenging to say the least. Let’s get into it…
At the end of April/Beginning of May, I received an offer for a great job in California. I accepted the offer but immediately I could feel something was off. My partner wasn’t fully behind it. My family expressed their desire to keep me here. In my gut, beyond my initial excitement, I could tell that there was something deeper urging me to think about things more.
I had already made plans to meet my sister in Raleigh, NC for a Lizzo concert. While I’d like to say this was a great trip it was a bit messy. I drove the 8 hours North and had a nice time with my sister. We didn’t end up seeing Lizzo because her anxiety spiked during the concert. I then drove another 8 hours back.
The blessing in this visit was that a) I got to have some sister time and b) I got to start a new book on boundaries. (It’s listed in my book section below.) By the time I got home, I was feeling very anxious about needing to make a decision on whether I would be moving across the country in a couple weeks or not.
See I wanted the job so badly. I wanted to move so badly. I was holding so tight to the outcome and feeling anxious, sad, and miserable.
We got multiple rounds of bad news this month and the more I looked at the decision the more I realized I couldn’t list enough good reasons to move. I couldn’t rationalize why it was worth it other than it was a pretty area.
So ultimately, I made the hard decision to pull out from the job and let them know that things would not work out.
It’s tough to give up on something but it doesn’t always mean it’s the wrong decision. There is power in knowing when to quit.
My Month In Photos
(P.s. out with the new, in with the old. I dyed my hair back at the end of the month because I was tired of the upkeep lol.)
May’s Noteworthy Moment
Though it was stressful, my noteworthy moment this month was my Raleigh trip. Even though we didn’t end up seeing Lizzo we had a nice time exploring the little city of Raleigh. I got to see some elevation changes and nice weather. We got to explore a little community garden and a bunch of bakeries and cafes.
May Gratitude
I am grateful for my family and the love and support they give me.
I am grateful for my partner and the love we share.
I am grateful for everyone here who sticks around to share this space with me and read what I’ve written.
May Monthly Reflection
This month really reiterated to me that what I struggle with the most is a lack of self-respect and boundaries. It’s very easy for me to blame others and for me to want to withdraw from everyone because of this. Instead of having the tough conversations and asserting myself, I shy away. Instead of taking time for myself to do what I want to do I focus on others then blame them and use them as an excuse for why I can’t get something done.
Books / Podcasts / Shows of the Month
Book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Podcast: Common Shapes by Marlee Grace
Show: 90 Day Fiance
Energy Givers vs Energy Takers
Energy Givers
Being outside
Researching my interests
Road Trips
Farms and Gardens
Flowers
Energy Takers
Not setting and enforcing boundaries
Clutter and dirt
Yet another month of lessons. Another month of growth. Another month of healing. Hopefully May treated you well. If it didn’t here’s to good things coming in June. We have a busy month ahead of us with some international travel but I’m hoping June brings some warmth our way.
Until next time.
xo,
Roo
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