Dopamine Detox : Week One Lessons and Musings
One week down and three more to go. Here is what I've learned from my first week of the dopamine detox.
Well, I’ve done it! I’ve completed the first week of the dopamine detox successfully. In some ways, it has been easier than I expected but at times it has been pretty difficult. I’ve been keeping a daily tally of how I’ve been feeling in my notes app and it’s been a helpful exercise. Let’s get into it!
What’s been the most difficult thing for me to give up this far?
Shockingly, at this point in time, video games have been the hardest. I truly thought cannabis would be the most difficult thing to give up during this process but I’ve found myself wishing I had video games to play more often than cannabis to smoke. I realized I reach for video games the most when I’m feeling down or bored or simply just want to procrastinate instead of doing what I need to do.
What was my general mood this week?
Like I said I’ve been keeping a daily log from sun up to sun down on how I’m feeling and what I’ve done for the day which has been really helpful for me. It might even be something I continue to keep up with after this little challenge.
I will say this first week coincided with PMS, the start of my period, and my entire family being in town (and they are hands down my biggest triggers) so it was a rough start to the challenge. I was incredibly irritable the first 4 days of the challenge and my irritability did go down over time.
During the times when I was not feeling irritable, I felt pretty good overall. There were some times of general negativity and bad moods but they felt fairly fleeting and I’ll explain why I think this is in the next section.
What have been my biggest takeaways this week?
I’ve been using these high dopamine rewards to avoid sitting with and dealing with my feelings.
If I’m being honest, I’ve been doing this for nearly two years which is a far cry from the inner healing work I had been doing years prior. I’ve recognized this week that this way of living has been pushing me back further and further in my healing journey and avoiding my emotions has not helped me in any way.
Instead of recognizing and working through my emotions I typically reach for something that will distract or numb me from them. This is entirely unhelpful and unproductive in the end. What feels better in the moment does not feel better in the future.
If I don’t process and handle what I’m feeling and get to the root of it it will continue to show up over and over and over again until I do.This first week has brought me to some deeper realizations about why I feel some of the things I feel and how I can move forward from these feelings now that I’m aware of the root cause. It doesn’t mean they won’t ever arise again, but it does mean that I now have some coping skills to acknowledge, process, and move on from them quicker.
It was WAY easier to get normal tasks I struggle with done this week.
Without any distractions, I found it was much easier to do things I would normally struggle with. One day in particular I noted that I wondered if my ADHD was really that bad before or if I just wasn’t being disciplined. (Of course with ADHD we are dopamine deficient so seeking out high dopamine hits makes sense vs low dopamine hits like laundry.)
In fact, I’ve found it enjoyable to do chores this week. Without any shiny distractions, I’ve enjoyed doing things like laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc. It’s been fun for me to check things off my list and get them done.I’ve been able to stay focused for longer periods of time and achieve deep focus/flow states quicker than ever before.
I’m excited to see how the rest of the three weeks go if I’m already feeling this much improvement from one week without my “drugs” of choice.Boredom is fleeting. I mean really, it lasts maybe all of 1 minute.
When boredom would come in the past, I immediately reached for something like Instagram or Stardew Valley or whatever else. Over this past week, I’ve seen just how fleeting boredom is for me.
Feeling bored? Go study. Feeling bored? Go out and garden or play with the dogs? Feeling bored? There’s housework that can be done. Feeling bored? Get a journal out and dream about the future and make some plans.
In today’s media-driven, short-attention-span economy it’s so easy to quickly switch to the next hit before we’ve even given ourselves time to think. If we allow ourselves to feel “bored” we realize quickly that it’s such an easy “feeling” to fix.
If you’re like me and struggle with getting things done, LET YOURSELF BE BORED. Don’t reach for media or a quick dopamine hit. Sit with it for a minute or two and you’ll find there are so many things that you can do and ENJOY doing if given the chance.I genuinely have more energy than before.
I struggle with chronic fatigue due to my chronic health conditions. It’s not just feeling tired it’s a full-body sluggishness, brain fog, and general malaise. Chronic fatigue has you feeling like your body and mind are stuck walking through quicksand. Constantly trying to escape from something that is grabbing at you and pulling you under.
Around night three I realized I had more energy at night than I have had in the past several years. Staying up until 10 pm was easy. I was going to bed with more thoughts and ideas in my head than before. Things like cleaning the kitchen after dinner were easier because I had the energy to do so and was free from the distractions I normally have.
For me, I think it’s a combination of spending way less time looking at a screen and not feeling sluggish from smoking in the evening that’s contributed to my gain of energy. Without the additional fatigue from these couple of factors, I feel much better overall.My relationship with cannabis was incredibly out of whack and my relationship with it moving forward will be much different.
In this first week, I realized I truly only ever began to “crave” cannabis around dinner time. Truthfully, cannabis does help me get past nausea and makes eating more enjoyable. With my endometriosis, I do experience nausea frequently whether it’s from hormones or bloating from inflammation.
The night before the challenge I decided to “treat myself” to a big joint which then gave me a panic attack. For me, it gave me the fuel I needed to change my relationship with the plant and it served as a sign that overconsumption is not healthy or helpful.
I’ve said this for a little while now behind closed doors but haven’t voiced this opinion to the outside world. I don’t believe smoking cannabis helps with chronic pain. I believe it helps you sit with the pain easier, but ultimately doesn’t change the pain level you feel. I DO believe that things like topicals and cannabis suppositories genuinely help to alleviate pain.
With this said, I have not been using suppositories in quite some time and have primarily been smoking. This is silly considering what I just said above. This past week has driven home why I started smoking and that I truly am a medical patient. I’ve had excruciating pain from my endometriosis that I’ve had to sit with and it’s made me realize that my consumption methods have not matched what I’m trying to alleviate in the first place.
I’m sure as this challenge goes on I’ll continue to learn more about myself and my relationship with these items. With that said, this first week alone has been incredibly illuminating to me about my own behavior. It’s proved some of my pre-detox theories right, confirmed some ideas I’ve had, and shown me some things about myself that I wasn’t aware of. I’m so happy I took the leap and decided to do this journey. I hope it inspires some of you to try it out and do the same.
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Until next time!
xoxo,
Roo
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